Monday, January 09, 2006
5:27 AM
Today, I went down for the interview thing for a job at the agency.. Did my resume at home, and realised that actually, I have quite a good resume to send in. Having all those flowery achievements, accolates and positions.. Certificates to back them up.. And a whole lot of bulls**t to add in.. Went down to the office and did a test.. It turned out that what I thought I knew well, had many things in it that I have never seen, lest hear about in my life before. Hmmm... Of course people would ask me to train up on those that I am not too competent in....But it set me thinking.. Am I all that I think I am?? Are the people around me all that I think they are??
Me.... I have always thought of myself as a friendly, outgoing, full of stupid jokes, and a person who has leadership.. Louie says that I am nice and always smiling.. Am I all I seem to be?? I ask myself.. I guess its all appropriate that I ask myself this question now..My answer to myself was Nope..I am not all I seem to be.. Not all.. I think I am friendly, outgoing, nice and all..Please correct me if i'm wrong..
However, I am not always smiling.. I admit..There is hate and bitterness in me.. And there are reasons for having them..I know, there are no legitimate reasons for habouring hate, but I cant help it.. I have always recorded my anger towards JnL.. Every now and then, the question lingers..."if they did not do what they did to me...." Come on...Now the world is bugging me.. That day, Josh came and talk to me about it.. And Because of what JnL did, she is telling everybody now.. Talk about privacy.. Can I control who i want to know any longer?? Haiz...Forget it..
Somethings that I have learnt over all my years....
No.1) Always give people the benefit of the doubt before U make your conclusion.
No.2) Always always follow the rules you set for yourself (If not, your life would be screwed up from then on).
No.3) Be slow to react.
No.4) Love life.
No.5) Remember to always practice GRACE.
No.6) Be humble to apologise or to accept apology.
These would make your life much happier, and a whole lot more satisfying to live.
The conversation just now hurt me alot.. I am relieved that you are willing to forgive me.. But what you said about talking to me and hearing my voice..It made my heart crash..Crash right down..I dont blame you..But from what you said, I have surely failed..Haiz.. The impact of it was bad..But whats to come will be enough to kill..wait till I am lying in my bed, and thinking of everything.. Sighs..
Just saw a picture....It shall add on to what I am gonna think about tonight....So much for trusting you..No doubt that there were many others...But..haiz..Forget it..
WE BELONG TOGETHER
